Three Ways to Help Your Parents Age Well

Author: Robyn Neidbold

Robyn is 26 and has been a Marketing Intern at Aging Care Connections since  August 2022.  She found her passion for marketing through her internship at the Nevada Humane Society where she helped coordinate the annual Duck Race.  ​

Many Millennials (b. 1981-1996) are starting to face the sad reality that their parents need extra help in their aging lives, or will need help soon. Millennials are faced with questions like, “where do I start” “what do my parents need” and “how do I make life comfortable and joyful for them while their bodies and minds are changing?” These are hard questions that don’t always have a clear answer. More often than not, we don’t even know what questions to ask.
 
Millennials also must consider their lives when making decisions to help their aging parents.  Will helping your parents mean you have to make career sacrifices? Spend less time with your new and growing family? Mean you have to move states? There are a lot of unknown factors ahead for Millennials, but if you start having conversations now about aging with your loved ones, then you all will be better prepared for the future.
 
These are incredibly uncomfortable questions we have to ask ourselves, our new families, and even more importantly, our parents. Quality of life is not something that should be compromised, and Aging Care Connections (ACC) is here to help you and your families walk gracefully through the following stages in life. Before asking questions, ACC wants to remind you of three important factors when it comes to helping your parents.
 
1. Know Your Resources. 
 
If you’re reading this article, you likely have some awareness of Aging Care Connections. ACC is an all-in-one resource to help you and your family. They can be your number one resource in helping your parents age healthily and happily with programs from nutritional needs to transitional care. ACC will even provide caregiver support to you, where you can connect with other caregivers in various support groups. What is so wonderful about ACC is the well-rounded care we provide for you and your family, making sure your mental and physical needs are met.
 
2. Don’t Go It Alone.
 
Your parents, and especially you, can feel very lonely throughout this process. COVID-19 showed humanity how much we need each other. We are social beings and need one another to live life fully. Don’t go against the grain here and think you can care for your family alone, find support groups like the ones ACC provides to find help and a shoulder to lean on. Talk to your friends and other family members, they likely also need your knowledge and support just as much as you need theirs. Consider volunteering at ACC before your parents need the help. This can give you a first-hand experience of the programs ACC provides and how to help your parents as they age while giving back and getting connected to your community.
 
3. Start Now.
 
This is the most essential step. Start caring for your parents now by asking them the hard questions. No one wants to talk about these topics, but don’t wait until it’s too late to ask these questions. Uncomfortable conversations now will lead to a safe and comfortable future for both you and your parents. Here is a list of questions to start asking your parents. You can start these conversations on a walk, during tea, or schedule them on the calendar with your family members. If you are entirely uncomfortable having these questions, consider breaking up the questions with other non-related questions. These conversations can be light-hearted or serious. It is just vital that you start now.
 
Here is a list of questions or conversation starters to have with your family.

• Talk to your family about getting involved with Aging Care Connections. If your parents don’t need the care or help yet, go to ACC events or volunteer. This will immerse you into this new world you and your family are about to enter.
•  What health issues are your parents concerned about? You might be surprised by the answers, but knowing this information can help prevent future health issues and give your parents peace of mind that they are being proactive about their future health concerns and that they will be taken care of.
•  What are some living situations they would be comfortable with in the case that they can no longer live in their home? Do your parents wish to live with a specific family member? Is there an assisted living center they know of and prefer? You can visit these places now with them if they are open to it and do it in a leisurely manner and not in a crisis mode.
•  Do they have a Power of Attorney for Health and Finances. If they do, this is a wonderful time to discuss their wishes. If not, suggest they look into having one done. ACC can help you find resources for these.
•  What kind of funeral or memorial do they prefer? When the time comes, this will help your parents feel like their wishes are met and make you feel like you’re doing the right thing.  

 
These questions don’t even scratch the surface, however, they are a starting point and will lead to more conversations. It is also important to ask yourself and your spouse/family questions too. Your needs shouldn’t be left in the dust throughout these years. Here are some questions to ask yourself and your spouse/family.

• “Do I/we have the financial means to take care of my parents?  If this answer is a no, then ask yourself, what do you need to do to be able to financially support your parents as a caregiver, or who in your family does have the financial means?”
•  “What are my/my spouse’s career goals, and how does that either conflict or work with helping my parents age?”Do you have a job that requires you to travel frequently? Then being the primary caregiver of your parents might not be the best fit, so talk to other family members and see where they are at with their career and career goals. Or, are you able to make career changes now or in the future to help meet the possible needs of your parents?
•  “Do I have the support I need to help care for my parents?” This can be financial support or emotional support from your family, friends, and job. Again, start conversing with your friends and families about these topics to see where they are and how they intend to help you or need your help. Get involved with Aging Care Connections so you are already building and supporting this community.
•  “Do I have an emergency plan?” Planning for the unknown can be challenging, but it should be done, especially if you don’t live close to your parents. If a parent falls or is injured, do they have a device on them or nearby to get in contact with someone for help? Do your parents have a go-to person that is nearby that can help them if needed? In the case of a fire or an incident where your parents need to exit the house immediately, are they able to do so?  If not, what measures need to be taken so that they can?
•  “Is my spouse and family ok with my parents moving in?” You and your parents may have come to the decision that this is the best fit for everyone, make sure your spouse and family are on board as well.  

Whether or not your parents need care or not now, they will at some point. Get comfortable being uncomfortable with the new changes you will all face. Make sure that you have support from your family, friends, and community so that you can help your parents age happily and healthily. Aging Care Connections is here to help you and your family through all of these new stages, so please don’t wait to start these conversations and get involved with ACC, by visiting our website at https://www.agingcareconnections.org and/or calling us at (708) 354-1323.