Aging Care Connections

by Flora Foltz

​At 95, getting older does have its challenges, I have found, not just my physical health. Retired, no work to go to, no husband or children to care for, what do I do? 
 
For me, it is important to stay busy and involved with friends and family. I’m the youngest of eleven, all the others are gone. I’m a widow, mother of two, grandmother of four, and great-grandmother of seven.  Besides my children and grandchildren, there are many nieces and nephews who appreciate getting birthday cards, emails or phone calls from their old Aunt. 
 
I’m a retired educator. Fortunately, I can still drive to meet former colleagues and friends for lunch, attend local events, movies and activities at the Senior Center, go on bus day trips, etc. I sometimes have to be the 'social secretary' as other older friends may need a push. I have made new friends, learned a lot and felt like I was contributing by volunteering at the hospital, History Museum, Church and other places.
 
But it is not always easy, especially when you lose friends you have been close to or have traveled with. Or when you have one with dementia who doesn't remember you. Makes you sad, but you grieve and go on.
 
Learning to be satisfied and happy alone is crucial. Some days you will feel lonely and alone and need a self-talk reminding yourself of your blessings.  Baking to eat and share with friends and neighbors, reading, gardening, or just watching happy Hallmark movies is a good thing!  Naps are good, too. They give me the energy I need to keep going! And that’s what matters. 

​Is romance the stuff of youth? Does it just fade away as we age? No! Romance as an older adult can take on a unique and beautiful quality, often characterized by a deep connection, shared memories, and a sense of comfort. Here are some aspects of what romance might look like for older adults:
 
Companionship and Friendship:
As couples age, the emphasis often shifts towards companionship and the comfort of spending time with a lifelong friend. The bond deepens, and couples may find joy in simple moments together.
 
Shared History and Memories:
Romance for older adults often involves cherishing and reminiscing about the shared history and memories they've built over the years. Looking back on a life together can be incredibly romantic.
 
Expressing Affection in Small Gestures:
Simple gestures, like holding hands, hugs, and kisses, continue to play a significant role. These expressions of affection become even more meaningful with the passage of time.
 
Support and Care:
Taking care of each other becomes a vital aspect of romance. Whether it's helping with daily tasks or providing emotional support during challenging times, the commitment to each other's well-being is a strong expression of love.
 
Quality Time at Home:
Romantic moments can be found in the everyday activities, such as cooking together, watching favorite shows, or reading side by side. It's about finding joy in the mundane tasks when you are together.
 
Shared Hobbies and Interests:
Couples often find new or revisit old hobbies together. Whether it's gardening, painting, or learning something new, shared activities strengthen the bond and create opportunities for connection.
 
Celebrating Milestones:
Celebrating anniversaries, birthdays, and other milestones becomes a way to reflect on the years spent together and appreciate the journey.
 
Grandparenting:
For many older couples, being grandparents is a source of joy and fulfillment. Being actively involved in the lives of their grandchildren can be a shared and rewarding experience.
 
Traveling and Exploring Together:
Some couples continue to explore new places and travel together. It might be a slower pace, but the shared experience of discovering new things can be enriching.
 
Supporting Each Other's Independence:
Allowing each other the space to pursue individual interests and supporting personal growth is a form of romance. It's about respecting and encouraging each other's autonomy.
 
Expressions of Gratitude:
Expressing gratitude for the years spent together and acknowledging the love and support received is a romantic gesture. It's about recognizing and vocalizing the value of your partner.
 
In essence, romance in old age is about the enduring connection, appreciation for each other, and finding beauty in the journey of a shared life. It's a love that has stood the test of time, evolved, and deepened with each passing year.

Loneliness can be a common challenge for older adults, but there are many ways to help prevent or reduce feelings of loneliness. Here are some suggestions:

1. Join community groups: Participate in local community groups or organizations that align with your interests. These can include book clubs, hobby groups, volunteer organizations, or senior centers. It provides opportunities for social interaction and building new connections. 
2. Stay physically active: Regular physical activity not only has numerous health benefits but can also be a social activity. Get involved in walking groups, yoga classes, or swimming clubs, where you can meet and interact with others while improving their overall well-being. Aging Well Neighborhood has several regularly scheduled fitness activities.
3. Embrace technology: Learn how to use technology to stay connected. This can involve video calls, social media platforms, or online communities focused on your interests. Many local libraries or community centers offer classes or workshops to help seniors become more comfortable with technology.
4. Volunteer: Give back to the community by volunteering for local organizations or charities. Volunteering not only provides a sense of purpose but also offers opportunities to interact with others who share similar interests and values.
5. Maintain relationships: Stay in touch with family and friends. Regular phone calls, visits, or even sending letters or cards can help maintain social connections and combat feelings of loneliness.
6. Engage in lifelong learning: Many communities offer educational programs tailored to older adults. Enroll in classes or workshops to learn new skills or explore their interests. This can provide opportunities to meet like-minded individuals and form new connections. Again, Aging Well Neighborhood has many ways to stay mentally fit.
7. Seek out support groups: If you are experiencing specific challenges or health conditions, join support groups related to those issues. Connecting with others who share similar experiences can provide valuable emotional support and a sense of belonging. Visit our Caregiver Support page to learn about Aging Care Connections support groups.
8. Attend senior centers or adult day programs: Senior centers and adult day programs provide opportunities for older adults to engage in various activities and socialize with peers. These centers often offer classes, outings, games, and other programs that can help combat loneliness and isolation.
9. ​Adopt a pet: Pets can provide companionship and emotional support. If you are comfortable taking care of a pet, consider adopting a cat or a dog. However, it's important to ensure you are physically capable of meeting the pet's needs.
10. Explore intergenerational programs: Programs that bring together different generations, such as mentoring programs or intergenerational housing initiatives, can help establish connections with younger individuals, fostering a sense of purpose and reducing loneliness.

Remember, it's essential to consider personal preferences, abilities, and interests when choosing ways to combat loneliness. What works for one person may not work for another, so it's important to find activities and opportunities that resonate with you or the older adult you care about.